I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
