Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
