So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize