Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
