I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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