1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
