He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
