You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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