I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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