I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
