I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
