He felt like a one man threesome
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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