return my video game
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
