The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize