Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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