She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize