Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize