Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
