return my video game
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Randomize
