I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
