Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
