Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
