Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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