his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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