it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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