The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
