went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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