I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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