Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
