what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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