I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
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