I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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