Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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