im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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