The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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