Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize