apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Randomize
