He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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