Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
