Little spoons don't ask big questions
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
