We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
