so explain again why im purple
no
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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