Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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