Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
