Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Randomize
