so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
