So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
