So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
