I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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