I want to stick my p in your. b.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
