he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Life is so much better after having sex.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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