so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
