There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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