Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
