And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
