I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
