We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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