so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
