He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
